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Showing posts with label Mother. Show all posts

Father’s Day and the essence of fatherhood

Father’s Day and the essence of fatherhood

By

abiodun KOMOLAFE


Image by Vecteezy

Tomorrow, Sunday, June 16, is ‘Father’s Day 2024!’ Father’s Day, which began as a largely religious observance and recognized in some way dating back to the Middle Ages, is now celebrated in more than 111 countries, with the first of its kind on June 19, 1910.


A traditional Roman Catholic holiday to celebrate fatherhood, Father’s Day is “celebrated on the third Sunday in June each year.” Fairly clearly, the day is meant to recall and recognize the endless efforts, initiatives and contributions of all the fathers around us. It is a mark of the kinship, affection, guidance and patience between fathers on the one hand and their families on the other.


Fathers are the heads of, and the role models for the(ir) families. Even in psychological explanations, it is the father figures who set the moral tones of households. Whenever irritants attempt to test the loyalty of the household, it is the father who risks everything with truly solidified violations to display manly attributes.


Etymologically, ‘husband’ also arose from the word ‘cultivate’, ‘tend’, or ‘nurture’. Therefore, the concept of husband refers to the ‘male head of a household’, the ‘manager’ and the ‘steward’. He is the ‘master of a house’, ‘occupier and tiller of the soil’. Thus, a husband is one who nurtures the wife with pious love, cultivates the wife and family, and tills the soil of the family.


Fathers are no little men. Of course, they are too big to be small. They have muscles in their places with which they not only perform feats of impressiveness but also create new, bigger and stronger foundations for their children. So, it’s only a marginalized group of men that can actually be referred to as irresponsible as most men are struggling. But we know that they can do better!


For quite some time, there has been a lot of negative portrayal of fathers and husbands. But what does an ideal father or husband look like? To begin with, the concept of father actually arises from the Almighty God as Creator. So, every human father is only a derivative, a copy and a limited expression of the ‘Olódùmarè’ (the Creator, Cause and Origin of all Things), ‘Baba wa tí mbe lí òrun’ (Our Father, who art in heaven), the One who’s so compassionate that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us.


In an article, ‘Appreciating a responsible father’, I described a father as “an important source of a child’s genetic makeup” and “his or her first teacher” and that “a father loves his child and provides for him or her as a precious jewel.” Since “children are a heritage from the Lord”, I wrote that “a good father prays for his children and engages them in deep, heart-to-heart conversations that impart more than facts, but teach wisdom.” Fathers are “expected to study and teach God’s Word to their children.” What’s more? “God blesses the children through their fathers.”


According to Wade Boggs, “anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad”. It is interesting to note that many people do have fond memories of their fathers – how their fathers loved, taught, even corrected identified misdemeanors so that they might live well. In remembering my father, Sunday Alaba Komolafe, who died on August 11, 2020 and was buried on September 11, 2020, comparisons are obvious. On a day like this, I remember my father as the one who “gave us (his children) partnership and protection” and as “a peacemaker whose life depicted concrete evidence of an organized future.” Close to 4 years after, I still find it difficult to accept that I have lost ‘Baba Kayode', as my dad was fondly called, to the wild, wicked hands of death at 92! Well, it is well!


Of course, there have been many lame-brains who pretend to be fathers. But then, that does not mean that they are in the majority! Surely certainly, the drunken and the incestuous fathers, wife beaters and deadbeat fathers are in a small minority. Fish or cut bait, we are in a culture where fathers are supposed to be providers, and many people who go into marriage take that aspect of matrimony seriously. So, they will not just abandon those God-given responsibilities only to pursue a career in drinking.


Talking about the African patriarchal culture where some men act as if they own their wives, it must also be noted that the overwhelming majority of men are alive and accountable to their responsibilities. So, Father’s Day is a day to celebrate the ideal father! It is a day to also say that those who are irresponsible most probably came from dysfunctional families where they never had good role models and that they’re only transferring their wounds to the people they got married to or the children they gave birth to!


For their efforts, men need to be encouraged, especially at a time like this when the majority of our men are on the verge of social and mental collapse. In a country where hunger and deprivation are already busting the people’s asses, where the prevailing inflation rate is stifling and asphyxiating, and where many Nigerians are dead before their death, this is not the time to be excoriating or burlesquing fathers.


Yes, times are tough and things are hard! However, men should also avoid taking out their frustrations on their families because we are all in it together! Besides, it is in the nature of man to be persevering, courageous, “stay positive and look for solutions”, just as Caleb and Joshua did when they were asked to spy out the Land of Canaan. For men therefore, this is the time to make sacrifices which, in every possible way, are instinctual for the adult male. In a word, Father’s Day is meant to call for investment, training and retraining, forming and reforming of boys for the critical work of being fathers in the future.


In the past 20 to 30 years, there have been many programmes for the girl child. Actually, 90% of the Funding/Donor Agencies would always tell the world that their programmes were for the woman and/or the girl but there has been very little, if any, for the boy child and young men. We have Ministries of Women Affairs that focus on the woman and the girl child but none to cater for the needs of the boy child and/or young men. In the past, traditional societies also had progammes for initiating boys into adulthood. Lamentably, we’ve lost that and there’s nothing in place to replace it! A few workshops and youth programmes for the boys here and there but that’s not enough!


All said, it’s time well-meaning individuals, private organizations, corporate agencies and religious organizations started programmes aimed at transforming boys into men and young men into husbands, with all the accompanying values and virtues, if we do not want to have beasts and abusive husbands in the future. In a world that derives its oxygen from narcotics and human sacrifices and where brothers are afraid of becoming fathers for obvious reasons, the boy child needs something that will actually lead young men to grow into manhood.


Tragically, Nigeria is stagnated because there haven’t been father figures of the types that she had some 50 to 60 years ago. Is it any wonder why moral re-armament has become a scarce commodity in our clime?


May the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, give us peace in our time!


 _•[email protected];_ 

 _•08098614418 - SMS only._ 

By

abiodun KOMOLAFE


Image by Vecteezy

Tomorrow, Sunday, June 16, is ‘Father’s Day 2024!’ Father’s Day, which began as a largely religious observance and recognized in some way dating back to the Middle Ages, is now celebrated in more than 111 countries, with the first of its kind on June 19, 1910.


A traditional Roman Catholic holiday to celebrate fatherhood, Father’s Day is “celebrated on the third Sunday in June each year.” Fairly clearly, the day is meant to recall and recognize the endless efforts, initiatives and contributions of all the fathers around us. It is a mark of the kinship, affection, guidance and patience between fathers on the one hand and their families on the other.


Fathers are the heads of, and the role models for the(ir) families. Even in psychological explanations, it is the father figures who set the moral tones of households. Whenever irritants attempt to test the loyalty of the household, it is the father who risks everything with truly solidified violations to display manly attributes.


Etymologically, ‘husband’ also arose from the word ‘cultivate’, ‘tend’, or ‘nurture’. Therefore, the concept of husband refers to the ‘male head of a household’, the ‘manager’ and the ‘steward’. He is the ‘master of a house’, ‘occupier and tiller of the soil’. Thus, a husband is one who nurtures the wife with pious love, cultivates the wife and family, and tills the soil of the family.


Fathers are no little men. Of course, they are too big to be small. They have muscles in their places with which they not only perform feats of impressiveness but also create new, bigger and stronger foundations for their children. So, it’s only a marginalized group of men that can actually be referred to as irresponsible as most men are struggling. But we know that they can do better!


For quite some time, there has been a lot of negative portrayal of fathers and husbands. But what does an ideal father or husband look like? To begin with, the concept of father actually arises from the Almighty God as Creator. So, every human father is only a derivative, a copy and a limited expression of the ‘Olódùmarè’ (the Creator, Cause and Origin of all Things), ‘Baba wa tí mbe lí òrun’ (Our Father, who art in heaven), the One who’s so compassionate that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us.


In an article, ‘Appreciating a responsible father’, I described a father as “an important source of a child’s genetic makeup” and “his or her first teacher” and that “a father loves his child and provides for him or her as a precious jewel.” Since “children are a heritage from the Lord”, I wrote that “a good father prays for his children and engages them in deep, heart-to-heart conversations that impart more than facts, but teach wisdom.” Fathers are “expected to study and teach God’s Word to their children.” What’s more? “God blesses the children through their fathers.”


According to Wade Boggs, “anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad”. It is interesting to note that many people do have fond memories of their fathers – how their fathers loved, taught, even corrected identified misdemeanors so that they might live well. In remembering my father, Sunday Alaba Komolafe, who died on August 11, 2020 and was buried on September 11, 2020, comparisons are obvious. On a day like this, I remember my father as the one who “gave us (his children) partnership and protection” and as “a peacemaker whose life depicted concrete evidence of an organized future.” Close to 4 years after, I still find it difficult to accept that I have lost ‘Baba Kayode', as my dad was fondly called, to the wild, wicked hands of death at 92! Well, it is well!


Of course, there have been many lame-brains who pretend to be fathers. But then, that does not mean that they are in the majority! Surely certainly, the drunken and the incestuous fathers, wife beaters and deadbeat fathers are in a small minority. Fish or cut bait, we are in a culture where fathers are supposed to be providers, and many people who go into marriage take that aspect of matrimony seriously. So, they will not just abandon those God-given responsibilities only to pursue a career in drinking.


Talking about the African patriarchal culture where some men act as if they own their wives, it must also be noted that the overwhelming majority of men are alive and accountable to their responsibilities. So, Father’s Day is a day to celebrate the ideal father! It is a day to also say that those who are irresponsible most probably came from dysfunctional families where they never had good role models and that they’re only transferring their wounds to the people they got married to or the children they gave birth to!


For their efforts, men need to be encouraged, especially at a time like this when the majority of our men are on the verge of social and mental collapse. In a country where hunger and deprivation are already busting the people’s asses, where the prevailing inflation rate is stifling and asphyxiating, and where many Nigerians are dead before their death, this is not the time to be excoriating or burlesquing fathers.


Yes, times are tough and things are hard! However, men should also avoid taking out their frustrations on their families because we are all in it together! Besides, it is in the nature of man to be persevering, courageous, “stay positive and look for solutions”, just as Caleb and Joshua did when they were asked to spy out the Land of Canaan. For men therefore, this is the time to make sacrifices which, in every possible way, are instinctual for the adult male. In a word, Father’s Day is meant to call for investment, training and retraining, forming and reforming of boys for the critical work of being fathers in the future.


In the past 20 to 30 years, there have been many programmes for the girl child. Actually, 90% of the Funding/Donor Agencies would always tell the world that their programmes were for the woman and/or the girl but there has been very little, if any, for the boy child and young men. We have Ministries of Women Affairs that focus on the woman and the girl child but none to cater for the needs of the boy child and/or young men. In the past, traditional societies also had progammes for initiating boys into adulthood. Lamentably, we’ve lost that and there’s nothing in place to replace it! A few workshops and youth programmes for the boys here and there but that’s not enough!


All said, it’s time well-meaning individuals, private organizations, corporate agencies and religious organizations started programmes aimed at transforming boys into men and young men into husbands, with all the accompanying values and virtues, if we do not want to have beasts and abusive husbands in the future. In a world that derives its oxygen from narcotics and human sacrifices and where brothers are afraid of becoming fathers for obvious reasons, the boy child needs something that will actually lead young men to grow into manhood.


Tragically, Nigeria is stagnated because there haven’t been father figures of the types that she had some 50 to 60 years ago. Is it any wonder why moral re-armament has become a scarce commodity in our clime?


May the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, give us peace in our time!


 _•[email protected];_ 

 _•08098614418 - SMS only._ 

SAVE THE GIRL CHILD: CARELESS MOTHERS/PARENTS

SAVE THE GIRL CHILD: CARELESS MOTHERS/PARENTS

IF YOU KNOW YOU CANT TRAIN AND WATCH A FEMALE CHILD GROW UNDER YOUR ROOF TILL 2O YEARS AND ABOVE, WHY THEN DO YOU GIVE BIRTH TO THEM?*




A week ago a 13 year old girl was found pregnant but she didn't know who impregnated her. But I will tell you the truth, she was raped by someone nearby and threatened not to report.




When Doctors conducted tests on her they found she was not a virgin meaning someone had been sexually abusing her.

Just yesterday another story of 13 year old who was staying with her uncle was found raped and killed.




Listen, If a man can remove the diaper of a 6 days old baby clamp the little baby's feet and rape her what would stop such a man from raping a 13 year old little girl??




The quicker we realize that we are living in a rotten society the better for our girls.

*Even at school and sometimes mosques and churches, the girls are raped by male teachers, students, religious leaders as well.*




*Even at home the girls are raped by brothers, uncles, fathers, grandfathers, nephews and male workers.*



Worse of it is even at the police station where the girls are raped right there by male police officers.



My job is to alert you and tell you things as I see them and witness on the ground.



*The truth is the girl child is not safe anywhere so what should we do as parents to help our little girls.*



***-Teach our girls to dress decently. Naked dresses should be avoided by mothers, sisters aunties, maids, mentors and our daughters. 



***Teach our girls to fear the night because that's when most predators lurk around and wait for the victims.



***Teach our girls what is inappropriate behavior so that they know when someone is touching them wrongly.



***Seriously teach our girls some defence mechanisms that have helped several girls.



***Sex education is very important for our girls. *Let a girl child or even boy child know that PRIVATE PARTS are not to be touched or played with, let them understand that nobody is to see their private parts unless their husbands or wives.*



***Teach your little girls not to be trusting around men of any nature.



*When I was growing up I wondered why my mother would make my sister wear underwear or wrap herself in a scarf when my uncles and father were at home, it is now that I realize that our mothers have always known from generations that even family members rape, defile and sexually abuse the girl child.*



We girls in my family dress properly at home without exposure thinking that our male family members are just family.

 *Help protect others from temptations.*



***Don't be careless and trusting for as we speak some mothers are still stitching the wounds of their little girls.



***Don't be that woman who hides such disgusting acts under a carpet to save your marriage or family; think about that broken girl child.



***As a man, don't be that man who undresses in front of a 10 year old girl and without shame commit the act.



***Don't be that neighbor who knows that abuses are happening in a particular house and you close your ears to the cries of a girl child.



***Don't be that Police Officer who takes bribe and allows the perpetrators of child sexual abuse to walk away free.

*It looks simple until your own little girl is affected.*



 *Be vigilant and don't make your child one of the Year 2020 & beyond statistics.*



***Let parents practice the fear of the Lord and how they must not do anything to offend so that the girl child can know how the love and fear of God is practiced!



*No one, I repeat no one can protect the girl child more than you the mother, the auntie, the cousin, the sister,* 



*PLEASE, WAKE UP!!!*


*PROTECT THE GIRL CHILD!!!.*




*IF THIS ARTICLE MAKES SENSE TO YOU, AND YOU ARE REALLY FEELING BAD THE WAY FEMALE CHILDREN ARE BEING MOLESTED, THEN...*




*YOU ARE PERMITTED TO SHARE AND POST TO ANY LENGTH YOU CAN, TO BOTH MOTHERS AND FATHERS ON YOUR LIST AND TO ANY GROUP AND PAGE.*



SAVE THE  GIRL CHILD TODAY!*.


THANKS

IF YOU KNOW YOU CANT TRAIN AND WATCH A FEMALE CHILD GROW UNDER YOUR ROOF TILL 2O YEARS AND ABOVE, WHY THEN DO YOU GIVE BIRTH TO THEM?*




A week ago a 13 year old girl was found pregnant but she didn't know who impregnated her. But I will tell you the truth, she was raped by someone nearby and threatened not to report.




When Doctors conducted tests on her they found she was not a virgin meaning someone had been sexually abusing her.

Just yesterday another story of 13 year old who was staying with her uncle was found raped and killed.




Listen, If a man can remove the diaper of a 6 days old baby clamp the little baby's feet and rape her what would stop such a man from raping a 13 year old little girl??




The quicker we realize that we are living in a rotten society the better for our girls.

*Even at school and sometimes mosques and churches, the girls are raped by male teachers, students, religious leaders as well.*




*Even at home the girls are raped by brothers, uncles, fathers, grandfathers, nephews and male workers.*



Worse of it is even at the police station where the girls are raped right there by male police officers.



My job is to alert you and tell you things as I see them and witness on the ground.



*The truth is the girl child is not safe anywhere so what should we do as parents to help our little girls.*



***-Teach our girls to dress decently. Naked dresses should be avoided by mothers, sisters aunties, maids, mentors and our daughters. 



***Teach our girls to fear the night because that's when most predators lurk around and wait for the victims.



***Teach our girls what is inappropriate behavior so that they know when someone is touching them wrongly.



***Seriously teach our girls some defence mechanisms that have helped several girls.



***Sex education is very important for our girls. *Let a girl child or even boy child know that PRIVATE PARTS are not to be touched or played with, let them understand that nobody is to see their private parts unless their husbands or wives.*



***Teach your little girls not to be trusting around men of any nature.



*When I was growing up I wondered why my mother would make my sister wear underwear or wrap herself in a scarf when my uncles and father were at home, it is now that I realize that our mothers have always known from generations that even family members rape, defile and sexually abuse the girl child.*



We girls in my family dress properly at home without exposure thinking that our male family members are just family.

 *Help protect others from temptations.*



***Don't be careless and trusting for as we speak some mothers are still stitching the wounds of their little girls.



***Don't be that woman who hides such disgusting acts under a carpet to save your marriage or family; think about that broken girl child.



***As a man, don't be that man who undresses in front of a 10 year old girl and without shame commit the act.



***Don't be that neighbor who knows that abuses are happening in a particular house and you close your ears to the cries of a girl child.



***Don't be that Police Officer who takes bribe and allows the perpetrators of child sexual abuse to walk away free.

*It looks simple until your own little girl is affected.*



 *Be vigilant and don't make your child one of the Year 2020 & beyond statistics.*



***Let parents practice the fear of the Lord and how they must not do anything to offend so that the girl child can know how the love and fear of God is practiced!



*No one, I repeat no one can protect the girl child more than you the mother, the auntie, the cousin, the sister,* 



*PLEASE, WAKE UP!!!*


*PROTECT THE GIRL CHILD!!!.*




*IF THIS ARTICLE MAKES SENSE TO YOU, AND YOU ARE REALLY FEELING BAD THE WAY FEMALE CHILDREN ARE BEING MOLESTED, THEN...*




*YOU ARE PERMITTED TO SHARE AND POST TO ANY LENGTH YOU CAN, TO BOTH MOTHERS AND FATHERS ON YOUR LIST AND TO ANY GROUP AND PAGE.*



SAVE THE  GIRL CHILD TODAY!*.


THANKS

OUR GRANDPAS HAD 'SIDE CHICKS' aka "ALE" AND WILL REMAIN WITH HUMANITY

OUR GRANDPAS HAD 'SIDE CHICKS' aka "ALE" AND WILL REMAIN WITH HUMANITY

In those days, mothers and grannies knew their hubbies' "ales" (concubines). Call them side chicks today.  In fact, they knew the day the "ale" would be coming to farm to collect food stuffs. They would respect themselves and won't go to farm that day.


"I am going out o", baba would announce. 


"Are you still coming back?" Mama would ask.


"No. You may lock your door."


Case closed. Mama knew where her hubby would spend the night. Before he came back following morning, his food was ready.  And it won't be poisoned!


At times, you would bring home a lady or guy from your hometown and your mum would say never, you can't marry him or her and she would never tell you why. She would do everything to separate you guys. 


She had her reasons. That lady or guy was sired by your father.  Mother knew but won't tell you until much, much later!


Your uncle (daddy's elder brother) would die and daddy would simply "take over" his wife and mama would politely oblige! 


I can hear many of you, especially, women saying: "THIS IS RUBBISH!" "ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!" "ORO RIRUN!" "I CAN NEVER TAKE THESE!" "GOD FORBID BAD THING!" "WE WILL ALL DIE THERE!"


NINE out of TEN of those our mothers knew what to do to make life miserable for both hubby and "ale". They could have easily killed them. They could have walked away and abandon their kids. 


But they knew the implication of broken homes. It was the indignities they suffered and endured that made their children what they later became in life.


If they didn't suffer these "nonsenses", their kids would not even go to school. 


While we are living in a DIFFERENT society from theirs, it was not by accident that many of them lived to be 80, 85, 95, 100. 


Yet, those of us who now have access to the best life can ever hardly live to be 65! 


Granny lived to be 98.  But her granddaughter died at 50!  


Reasons: 

▪️Grandma held a tradition of keeping her peace with her husband, his kith and kin by all means

▪️ Grandma dedicated herself  raising her children under their fathers roof and paternal influence.

▪️Grandma believed that, for her children to do well in life, they needed the father's blessing.

▪️She had been a woman raised by her own mother with the consciousness that after your God, is your Lord (husband). And that a proper woman lives in her husband's house, and never creates any reason to leave, till death do them part.

▪️She never knew single motherhood as an option or a respectable way of life life, because women who could not manage their homes were actually known to have failed in their God-given mandate in the lives of husbands and children.

▪️ Grandma believed that men are men, and knew that her submissiveness to the lion of her tribe was a major way to keep him tender towards her, irrespective of his other rascalities.

▪️ Grandma was a totally faithful woman to her husband, and very loyal without considering that as a favor to her husband. She knew that her chastity in marriage was key to her husband's prosperity. This is spiritual.

▪️ Grandma knew that each time her husband brought out the cane to discipline erring children, her duty was to support him discipline them, and could only pet and soothe the crying child secretly later. She taught children a lesson with this system; _The Father's authority is unquestionable._ This was a tradition which helped traditional rulership so effective and efficient in those days. Mothers taught children to obey rules strictly.

▪️ Grandma made her husband realize that she had no other idol than him. He therefore was always under the burden of conscience and responsibility to feed and clothe her and her children at the least, even if school wasn't in the picture.

▪️ Grandma would live in her husband's hut with her family, and with contentment. She would never drive him to go look for a bigger house and buy a bicycle or motorcycle to impress her friends. Infact she never had any gang of friends. Only a few gossip and jist partners. They kept life simple and we're happy

▪️ Grandma knew how to "gbojukuro". That is, she knew how "to look away" from people's faults, especially from her husband and children.

▪️By virtue of all these she was able to hold her Peace....and have true peace within her soul at all times. Life was simple for her because she made it simple for herself and her family.


Today, these values we saw in Grandma seem lost. And her own granddaughter lived to about half her age

Cause of death: High Blood Pressure! 

Mama's cause of death: Old Age!!


Can we have the spirit of Grandma in our wives and daughters again?

In those days, mothers and grannies knew their hubbies' "ales" (concubines). Call them side chicks today.  In fact, they knew the day the "ale" would be coming to farm to collect food stuffs. They would respect themselves and won't go to farm that day.


"I am going out o", baba would announce. 


"Are you still coming back?" Mama would ask.


"No. You may lock your door."


Case closed. Mama knew where her hubby would spend the night. Before he came back following morning, his food was ready.  And it won't be poisoned!


At times, you would bring home a lady or guy from your hometown and your mum would say never, you can't marry him or her and she would never tell you why. She would do everything to separate you guys. 


She had her reasons. That lady or guy was sired by your father.  Mother knew but won't tell you until much, much later!


Your uncle (daddy's elder brother) would die and daddy would simply "take over" his wife and mama would politely oblige! 


I can hear many of you, especially, women saying: "THIS IS RUBBISH!" "ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!" "ORO RIRUN!" "I CAN NEVER TAKE THESE!" "GOD FORBID BAD THING!" "WE WILL ALL DIE THERE!"


NINE out of TEN of those our mothers knew what to do to make life miserable for both hubby and "ale". They could have easily killed them. They could have walked away and abandon their kids. 


But they knew the implication of broken homes. It was the indignities they suffered and endured that made their children what they later became in life.


If they didn't suffer these "nonsenses", their kids would not even go to school. 


While we are living in a DIFFERENT society from theirs, it was not by accident that many of them lived to be 80, 85, 95, 100. 


Yet, those of us who now have access to the best life can ever hardly live to be 65! 


Granny lived to be 98.  But her granddaughter died at 50!  


Reasons: 

▪️Grandma held a tradition of keeping her peace with her husband, his kith and kin by all means

▪️ Grandma dedicated herself  raising her children under their fathers roof and paternal influence.

▪️Grandma believed that, for her children to do well in life, they needed the father's blessing.

▪️She had been a woman raised by her own mother with the consciousness that after your God, is your Lord (husband). And that a proper woman lives in her husband's house, and never creates any reason to leave, till death do them part.

▪️She never knew single motherhood as an option or a respectable way of life life, because women who could not manage their homes were actually known to have failed in their God-given mandate in the lives of husbands and children.

▪️ Grandma believed that men are men, and knew that her submissiveness to the lion of her tribe was a major way to keep him tender towards her, irrespective of his other rascalities.

▪️ Grandma was a totally faithful woman to her husband, and very loyal without considering that as a favor to her husband. She knew that her chastity in marriage was key to her husband's prosperity. This is spiritual.

▪️ Grandma knew that each time her husband brought out the cane to discipline erring children, her duty was to support him discipline them, and could only pet and soothe the crying child secretly later. She taught children a lesson with this system; _The Father's authority is unquestionable._ This was a tradition which helped traditional rulership so effective and efficient in those days. Mothers taught children to obey rules strictly.

▪️ Grandma made her husband realize that she had no other idol than him. He therefore was always under the burden of conscience and responsibility to feed and clothe her and her children at the least, even if school wasn't in the picture.

▪️ Grandma would live in her husband's hut with her family, and with contentment. She would never drive him to go look for a bigger house and buy a bicycle or motorcycle to impress her friends. Infact she never had any gang of friends. Only a few gossip and jist partners. They kept life simple and we're happy

▪️ Grandma knew how to "gbojukuro". That is, she knew how "to look away" from people's faults, especially from her husband and children.

▪️By virtue of all these she was able to hold her Peace....and have true peace within her soul at all times. Life was simple for her because she made it simple for herself and her family.


Today, these values we saw in Grandma seem lost. And her own granddaughter lived to about half her age

Cause of death: High Blood Pressure! 

Mama's cause of death: Old Age!!


Can we have the spirit of Grandma in our wives and daughters again?

DADDY, MUMMY: AVOID FAMILY PORNOGRAPHY!!!!

DADDY, MUMMY: AVOID FAMILY PORNOGRAPHY!!!!


MUMMY!!


Please Stop sitting as if you are in the labour room; Opening your legs for your son to see your inner tight & pant.


DADDY!!


Please Don't wear ordinary boxers at home that you sit

down, Open your legs and your 'thing' is dangling and your

daughter is seeing it.


There are things you should not wear beyond your bedroom,

just for your spouse.


Don't say because you want to enjoy your freedom in your

house.


It is not your house alone, it's a family house/home.


You are putting your children into sexual bondage through

these acts.i know you may not understand it but,


MUMMY!


Wearing ordinary bra around the house in the presence of your

sons is dangerous.


No, they won't lust after you. But you might be increasing their

curiosity to see the breasts of ladies out there.


DADDY!


Wearing ordinary Boxers around your house in the presence of

your daughters is dangerous too.


Not that your daughters will lust after you but it makes them to

actually see how the real thing is.


DEAR PARENTS!


Let's stop being 'PORNOGRAPHY MATERIALS' to our children.

Raising sexually pure children, it begins at home.'


As parents, it is still your responsibility to build virtue into your

family.


If your Children are not properly groomed, they may never get

to the top in life, even if you the parents are at the top of your

respective careers.


MANNERS take you to where your education can't irrespective

of your status , money or "who you know".


PLEASE MUMS & DADS, take note of what you just read now.


Don't make mistakes that will bring you pain and sorrow in the

future.


Don't say you are not married, you will soon get married,

please put this into practice.


Remember a child's mind is like a video camera, it records

everything as it sees or hear it. 


A replay of it will tell you the

things you have done how you did or say it.


May God bless you and your wonderful homes.


Author: Anonymous


MUMMY!!


Please Stop sitting as if you are in the labour room; Opening your legs for your son to see your inner tight & pant.


DADDY!!


Please Don't wear ordinary boxers at home that you sit

down, Open your legs and your 'thing' is dangling and your

daughter is seeing it.


There are things you should not wear beyond your bedroom,

just for your spouse.


Don't say because you want to enjoy your freedom in your

house.


It is not your house alone, it's a family house/home.


You are putting your children into sexual bondage through

these acts.i know you may not understand it but,


MUMMY!


Wearing ordinary bra around the house in the presence of your

sons is dangerous.


No, they won't lust after you. But you might be increasing their

curiosity to see the breasts of ladies out there.


DADDY!


Wearing ordinary Boxers around your house in the presence of

your daughters is dangerous too.


Not that your daughters will lust after you but it makes them to

actually see how the real thing is.


DEAR PARENTS!


Let's stop being 'PORNOGRAPHY MATERIALS' to our children.

Raising sexually pure children, it begins at home.'


As parents, it is still your responsibility to build virtue into your

family.


If your Children are not properly groomed, they may never get

to the top in life, even if you the parents are at the top of your

respective careers.


MANNERS take you to where your education can't irrespective

of your status , money or "who you know".


PLEASE MUMS & DADS, take note of what you just read now.


Don't make mistakes that will bring you pain and sorrow in the

future.


Don't say you are not married, you will soon get married,

please put this into practice.


Remember a child's mind is like a video camera, it records

everything as it sees or hear it. 


A replay of it will tell you the

things you have done how you did or say it.


May God bless you and your wonderful homes.


Author: Anonymous

Daily Motivation for today Saturday 8th May 2021: Some things you copy are problems People are trying to solve

Daily Motivation for today Saturday 8th May 2021: Some things you copy are problems People are trying to solve

 


Husband and wife decided to attend a new church, the husband drives in an expensive car valued #25,000.000.00 , each day they arrive church the husband will alight first, then he will move to the passenger seat to open the car for his wife to alight, 


The practice of opening the car for his wife continued over time, later other women in the church began to envy the woman, accordingly they began to challenge their poor husbands at home for not treating them like the man who opens car for his wife, that after all, the man is rich yet treats his wife like a queen.


It became a serious issue in some families. While women were praising the man , the men regarded him as foolish man. When the matter got to the man's notice,, he requested permission from the pastor to address the church and his permission was granted


He said:


 The reason I open the car for my wife is because the car lock is faulty and can only be opened from outside, it will cost me about #500,000.00 to fix because it has a security chain that connects other systems in the car and I do not have such money now. It is not my normal style to open car door for my wife, we are just managing the car problem.



Some things you copy are problems People are trying to solve.


Author:  Anonymous

 


Husband and wife decided to attend a new church, the husband drives in an expensive car valued #25,000.000.00 , each day they arrive church the husband will alight first, then he will move to the passenger seat to open the car for his wife to alight, 


The practice of opening the car for his wife continued over time, later other women in the church began to envy the woman, accordingly they began to challenge their poor husbands at home for not treating them like the man who opens car for his wife, that after all, the man is rich yet treats his wife like a queen.


It became a serious issue in some families. While women were praising the man , the men regarded him as foolish man. When the matter got to the man's notice,, he requested permission from the pastor to address the church and his permission was granted


He said:


 The reason I open the car for my wife is because the car lock is faulty and can only be opened from outside, it will cost me about #500,000.00 to fix because it has a security chain that connects other systems in the car and I do not have such money now. It is not my normal style to open car door for my wife, we are just managing the car problem.



Some things you copy are problems People are trying to solve.


Author:  Anonymous

19 ways to fix your Wife - when she is falling apart

19 ways to fix your Wife - when she is falling apart

Very interesting food for thought for every man around the world 

____________________


Your wife can be dying in silence while still performing her wifely duties. You will need to know her to know when she needs to be fixed.

.

When a woman is always moody, cries a lot, yells on Children, can easily sleep or sleeps a lot, she may be battling with something you are not careful enough to see.

.

A real man will not allow his wife to fall apart without fixing her and making her better and happy.

If you discover your wife is falling apart, watch out and fix the following:

.

Pic by wikihow.com

1. *CHECK IF YOU ARE THE PROBLEM*

You might be her problem, but out of her respect and love for you, she may not tell you. Ask, let her talk sincerely

.

2. *BE AWARE OF HER RESPONSIBILITIES*

Get to know how her work load is killing her. Regardless of whether she stays at home or goes to work, do you know what she does all day? If you don’t, ask her. Her to-do list is probably overflowing with tasks that far outweighs her time and energy.

.

3. *BE APPRECIATIVE*

Be mindful of her needs and appreciative of her sacrifices. The work a woman does at home can be too common that nobody will appreciate her for them, this can be killing her. Appreciate your wife

.

4. *GET INVOLVED BEFORE SHE BURNS OUT*

Don’t just be appreciative, but get involved. The best time to begin helping your wife is now. Don’t wait until she breaks down to offer a helping hand.

.

5. *GET MACHINE*

Get all the machine needed for her work at home (the ones you can afford). Dish washer, gas cooker, refrigerator, oven, laundering Machine, etc

.

6. *BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT*

Be totally involved at home, stop delegating parenting and family life. Don’t be a “visiting Professor”, be an active partner in this business of your life. It takes two to parent. It takes two to make a marriage work. It takes two to run a household. Be fully involved in every aspect of your family life.

.

7. *HOLD HER*

Hold her like a lover and a friend. Place your hands on her shoulder, her laps, hold her hands, just hold her and let her feel you.

.

8. *JUST LISTEN*

Most men are known to be good talker but very bad listeners. At times what your wife needs is for you to just listen. Do not interrupt, let her unburden, let her talk. Sometimes the best way for a woman to reset is by getting all of her thoughts out. Let your wife talk through her feelings and problems. Show empathy. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Be fully engaged in the conversation.

.

9. *BE A PARTNER NOT A TEACHER*

Most men do fall into the “Teaching trap” when they are supposed to be a partner, showing love and consideration. Do not blame, just be there for her. Just listen. That’s all you need to do. And if she wants you to offer solutions, she’ll ask for them

.

10. *GIVE HER HOPE*

No matter what happens, don’t ever raise up your hands in surrender. Giving up, crying or weeping will hurt your wife more. Encourage her. Let her know what you love about her. Help her see the good in any situation. Avoid being critical or negative. When she has hit the rock bottom, be the man who lifts her up, and brings light and hope back into her life.

.

11. *BE SENSITIVE*

Get to know her mood, get to know her needs, get to know what is needed to be done at home and do them without prompting.

Learn the act of looking around the house and finding things that need to get done. Are there dishes in the sink? What is broken that needs to be fixed? Don’t wait to be asked. Just do it!

.

12. *PRAY FOR HER*

Take your time off to pray for her, hand her over to her maker who knows the deepest need of her heart . Let God fix her, you can’t do it alone.

Let God know what you appreciate about her. Ask for his help. Ask him to tell you how you can be a better spouse to her. Ask God to comfort her and help her see herself as He see’s her as a woman of virtue.

.

13. *PRAY WITH HER*

Don’t just pray for your wife, find time to pray with her, hug her as you pray together, hold her hands, just talk to your maker together.

.

14. *ASK HER HOW YOU CAN BE OF HELP*

Your wife knows what you can do to help her reset, so just ask her. She will open up to you, it may not be what you think, so don’t speculate, ask, She’ll appreciate it more than you will ever know.

.

15. *HELP AROUND THE HOUSE*

Give a helping hand around the house. Give her a kitchen holiday for some days, do all the cooking or hire somebody to do it for you. Let her just sit, eat and rest, this may be all she needs,

.

16. *TAKE HER OUT*

Take her out, eat out, go to the cinema, go to wherever she will love to go, not where you want, just follow her.

.

17. *ALLOW HER TO CRY, IF SHE MUST*

“Stop crying, are you a baby?, will you be crying about this little thing?” This is what most high handed husband will do when their wives cries, what an insensitive word. If she feels like crying, hold her to yourself and let her do the crying while you pat her on the back. It’s a great way to fix the problem.

.

18. *LET HER GO ON HOLIDAY*

Sometimes if need be, allow her to go on holiday all alone to free up burden occupying her mind, this can fix the problem as she returns with greater energy.

.

19. *CELEBRATE HER*

Let your wife be celebrated. Celebrate her in secret and in public. Talk about her beauty, motherhood, wifehood, support, thoughtfulness. This will make her day.

.

*Let the men read and apply....*


*Let the women read share, and forward to the men..*


Daddies in the house, please, read it ooo 

Author: Anonymous

Very interesting food for thought for every man around the world 

____________________


Your wife can be dying in silence while still performing her wifely duties. You will need to know her to know when she needs to be fixed.

.

When a woman is always moody, cries a lot, yells on Children, can easily sleep or sleeps a lot, she may be battling with something you are not careful enough to see.

.

A real man will not allow his wife to fall apart without fixing her and making her better and happy.

If you discover your wife is falling apart, watch out and fix the following:

.

Pic by wikihow.com

1. *CHECK IF YOU ARE THE PROBLEM*

You might be her problem, but out of her respect and love for you, she may not tell you. Ask, let her talk sincerely

.

2. *BE AWARE OF HER RESPONSIBILITIES*

Get to know how her work load is killing her. Regardless of whether she stays at home or goes to work, do you know what she does all day? If you don’t, ask her. Her to-do list is probably overflowing with tasks that far outweighs her time and energy.

.

3. *BE APPRECIATIVE*

Be mindful of her needs and appreciative of her sacrifices. The work a woman does at home can be too common that nobody will appreciate her for them, this can be killing her. Appreciate your wife

.

4. *GET INVOLVED BEFORE SHE BURNS OUT*

Don’t just be appreciative, but get involved. The best time to begin helping your wife is now. Don’t wait until she breaks down to offer a helping hand.

.

5. *GET MACHINE*

Get all the machine needed for her work at home (the ones you can afford). Dish washer, gas cooker, refrigerator, oven, laundering Machine, etc

.

6. *BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT*

Be totally involved at home, stop delegating parenting and family life. Don’t be a “visiting Professor”, be an active partner in this business of your life. It takes two to parent. It takes two to make a marriage work. It takes two to run a household. Be fully involved in every aspect of your family life.

.

7. *HOLD HER*

Hold her like a lover and a friend. Place your hands on her shoulder, her laps, hold her hands, just hold her and let her feel you.

.

8. *JUST LISTEN*

Most men are known to be good talker but very bad listeners. At times what your wife needs is for you to just listen. Do not interrupt, let her unburden, let her talk. Sometimes the best way for a woman to reset is by getting all of her thoughts out. Let your wife talk through her feelings and problems. Show empathy. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Be fully engaged in the conversation.

.

9. *BE A PARTNER NOT A TEACHER*

Most men do fall into the “Teaching trap” when they are supposed to be a partner, showing love and consideration. Do not blame, just be there for her. Just listen. That’s all you need to do. And if she wants you to offer solutions, she’ll ask for them

.

10. *GIVE HER HOPE*

No matter what happens, don’t ever raise up your hands in surrender. Giving up, crying or weeping will hurt your wife more. Encourage her. Let her know what you love about her. Help her see the good in any situation. Avoid being critical or negative. When she has hit the rock bottom, be the man who lifts her up, and brings light and hope back into her life.

.

11. *BE SENSITIVE*

Get to know her mood, get to know her needs, get to know what is needed to be done at home and do them without prompting.

Learn the act of looking around the house and finding things that need to get done. Are there dishes in the sink? What is broken that needs to be fixed? Don’t wait to be asked. Just do it!

.

12. *PRAY FOR HER*

Take your time off to pray for her, hand her over to her maker who knows the deepest need of her heart . Let God fix her, you can’t do it alone.

Let God know what you appreciate about her. Ask for his help. Ask him to tell you how you can be a better spouse to her. Ask God to comfort her and help her see herself as He see’s her as a woman of virtue.

.

13. *PRAY WITH HER*

Don’t just pray for your wife, find time to pray with her, hug her as you pray together, hold her hands, just talk to your maker together.

.

14. *ASK HER HOW YOU CAN BE OF HELP*

Your wife knows what you can do to help her reset, so just ask her. She will open up to you, it may not be what you think, so don’t speculate, ask, She’ll appreciate it more than you will ever know.

.

15. *HELP AROUND THE HOUSE*

Give a helping hand around the house. Give her a kitchen holiday for some days, do all the cooking or hire somebody to do it for you. Let her just sit, eat and rest, this may be all she needs,

.

16. *TAKE HER OUT*

Take her out, eat out, go to the cinema, go to wherever she will love to go, not where you want, just follow her.

.

17. *ALLOW HER TO CRY, IF SHE MUST*

“Stop crying, are you a baby?, will you be crying about this little thing?” This is what most high handed husband will do when their wives cries, what an insensitive word. If she feels like crying, hold her to yourself and let her do the crying while you pat her on the back. It’s a great way to fix the problem.

.

18. *LET HER GO ON HOLIDAY*

Sometimes if need be, allow her to go on holiday all alone to free up burden occupying her mind, this can fix the problem as she returns with greater energy.

.

19. *CELEBRATE HER*

Let your wife be celebrated. Celebrate her in secret and in public. Talk about her beauty, motherhood, wifehood, support, thoughtfulness. This will make her day.

.

*Let the men read and apply....*


*Let the women read share, and forward to the men..*


Daddies in the house, please, read it ooo 

Author: Anonymous

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