LESSON 10, 5/5/2019
HANDLING MISUNDERSTANDINGS
Devotional Reading: Matt. 18:15-19
Topic for Adults: Forsake Wrath
Topic for Youths: Be Angry And Do Not Sin
Topic for Intermediates: No Harsh Words
Lesson Scriptures: Lk 6:27-37, Eph. 4:21-32, Col. 3:12-15, Matt. 5:21-25, Phil. 2:1-9
MEMORY VERSE: Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar....First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift. (Matt. 5:23-24) NKJV.
Christ Jesus. When you know this, then you will abstain from any misunderstandings.
Don’t let Satan keep you groveling in the dust of false humility. Christian family members
should make humility their hallmark. Avail yourself of God’s protection by settling all your
misunderstandings with humility.
Point of Emphasis: Clothe yourself with humility.
Prayer point: Dear Lord, help me to be like Jesus in humility.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 17-19
Christianity is not a religion but a way of life. It is established on love. The way of life of its
adherent is not in religious activities only. It is evident in the inner feeling as well as love
towards others. Due to our peculiarity, sometimes, misunderstanding do occur among us.
We should tend to the way of love. It suffers long. Since God values action done in love
with patience, don’t allow the wrongs done to you to dictate your response, rather let love
prevail. When any wrong is done to you by any member of the family or even an enemy,
react in a way that shows that you have value that centres on love and Christ.
Point of Emphasis: Don’t act in the spirit of hatred, let love prevail in all situations.
Prayer Point: Lord Jesus, give me grace that will always make me to respond to issues with love
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 20-22
are the days when some family members are not involved in keeping the home running. If
the wife is overburdened with household chores, every member of the house should be
ready to help her out. The practice of leaving all the housework to the wives alone as seen in
some cultures does not find its way in Christianity. Some women have suffered
tremendously under this practice. Christians should know that women or wives are not
slaves but helpmeets Let’s bear with each other, put on charity to do things in common
without partiality to any member of the family.
Point of Emphasis: Forbear one another.
Prayer Point: Lord, give us grace in our family to forbear one another.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 23-25
the Lord to show you if you are in strife with anyone or you have taken offence. Often
times, you discover that people get upset with you without a cause. The devil uses those
kind of offences to steal your peace. You must always remember that taking offence never
comes from God. We should be rooted and grounded in love, reject feelings of offence.
Always ask yourself, “if Christ is in my situation what will He do?” It is very vital for Christians
to act like Christ. If indeed you are a Christian, always act like Christ. Your action is the
acid test that proves whether you are of Christ or not. This will help you walk right on
through the situation without ever stumbling.
Point of Emphasis: Taking offence never comes from God, so reject those feelings of offence.
Prayer Point: Father, help me to overlook offences in Jesus’ name.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 26-28
most common problems among believers. We let it get into our homes, work places, our
churches and everywhere. Of course we don’t wake up in the morning and say “I think I am
going to stir up some strife today” We just inadvertently allow irritation to come. You must
take a stand against strife. If you have the tendency to let things irritate you, decide to
overcome that tendency. Arm yourself against them with the knowledge that there are
people that are not going to be nice to you and are ready to stir you up and annoy you on
purpose or by accident. Make up your mind that by the power of God, you are not going to
let strife linger through you.
Point of Emphasis: Take a big stand against any opportunity for strife.
Prayer Point: Empower me to be patient with people dear Lord.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 29-31
Have you ever tried to forgive someone and found you simply couldn’t do it? You have
cried and prayed about it yet those old resentments just failed to go away. You need to put
your forgiveness on faith rather than feelings. True forgiveness doesn’t have anything to do
with how you feel. It is an act of the will. It is based on obedience to God and on faith in
Him. Once you have forgiven a person, you need to consider him permanently forgiven.
When old feelings rise up within you and Satan tries to convince you that you haven’t really
forgiven him, resist him. You must believe that you have received forgiveness and cleansing
from the sin of unforgiveness and from unrighteousness associated with it including any
remembrance of having been wronged. As you do that, the pains once caused by that
incident will disappear. The power of God will wash away the effect of it and you will be
able to leave it behind you once and for all. Learn to forgive and forget.
Point of Emphasis: Cleanse your feelings with the blood of Jesus. Forgive those that hurt you wholeheartedly.
Prayer Point: Let the peace of God fill my heart as I forgive wholeheartedly.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 32-34
Only few people realise how closely connected faith and forgiveness are. Jesus taught about
that connection in His sermon on the mountain recorded in Mk. 11:24-25. Jesus backed
those two statements up on purpose. He wanted us to know that forgiving those who have
wronged us is fundamental to receiving from God. He wanted to impress on our hearts the
fact that we cannot have our prayers answered and hold grudge at the same time. We must
know that unforgiveness clogs the faith channel and keeps us powerless to climb the
mountain in our lives. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring any grudge that is hidden there to light.
Unclog the channel of faith and you will soon see things work well with you.
Point of Emphasis: Unforgiveness clogs the faith channel and keeps you powerless.
Prayer Point: I receive the grace to always forgive wholeheartedly in the name of Jesus.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 35-37
Misunderstanding breeds offences and offences breed wrath. It is true that Christians
should not have enemies but not with wrath. No one plans for offences but when it comes,
what do we do to handle it? The way out is spelt out in this week’s lesson.
not exempted, offences will come. Offences are part and parcel of living on this earth. No
matter how spiritual you are, whenever you remember the person that offended you, it
dampens you somehow. This is devil’s strategy to shut you down spiritually and cut you off
from the flow of your anointing. Therefore, settle your mis-understanding amicably without
any strings attached because it will definitely come. You may notice that things are not just
blending with you and your fellow brethren or spouse when both of you are moody.
Offences make your spiritual sensitivity blunt and make your faith weak. So learn to forgive.
Forgiveness is the weapon against offences. You might still feel bad even after
forgiving that person or your spouse who offended you. Forgiveness and the feeling of
offence are two different things. Forgiveness is a decision of the will and not a feeling. Many
people are in the habit of saying “I may forgive but I will never forget” That is a second-rate
kind of forgiveness that believers are not supposed to settle for. You are to forgive
wholeheartedly “even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you” (Eph.4:32). You need to do this
to release that person from guilt permanently and unconditionally and to operate as if
nothing has ever happened between you.
When you do this, something supernatural will happen within you. The pain once
caused by the incident will disappear. The power of God will wash away the effects of it and
you will be able to leave it behind. You must not become an emotional bookkeeper of the
wrongs you have suffered. Learn to forgive and forget.
Anywhere offences are allowed to stay, peace is given license to leave. Don’t ever
allow offences in your home. Stick to peace for your family to continue to experience the
peace of God.
mercies, kindness, humility, meekness and longsuffering bearing with one another and be
forgiving even as Christ forgave you.
By doing these, we must put on love so as to enable the peace of God rule our hearts. Be
informed that anger and unforgiveness contribute to physical illness because they release
deadly toxins into the body.
When people hurt you, there are four things you must do:
1. Talk to them, do it the right time in the right place and in a right way. Before you say
anything, ask God to guide your thoughts and your words. Then say what God puts
in your heart in a loving non-judgmental way. After that, leave the rest to God.
2. Don’t retaliate. When you are tempted to be angry with someone, stop and
remember the price Jesus paid to take away the sins you committed. Seeing the
offender through Gods eyes will help you to forgive.
3. Let go. As long as one keeps dwelling on an issue, it keeps hurting. You may let
someone off your hook, but that doesn’t mean he is off God’s hook. Always allow
God to do the needful, He knows the best.
4. Ask God to bless them. You have to do this genuinely because Jesus said it in Lk
6:27-28. Remember that when Jesus tells you to do something, He backs you up with
the grace to do it.
contention before a quarrel starts.”(Prov. 17:14). Children of God must not quarrel, instead,
they must be kind to everyone. Is there any dispute in your heart robbing you of peace? Here
is what Jesus said you are supposed to do “if you are offering your gift at the altar and you
remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there and go and be
reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.
Don’t expect your brother to come to you. You have to take the initiative in case he
would not come. When you allow things on the other hand, may be you have decided to
sleep on the matter for now, the Bible says “Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down
on your wrath” (Eph. 4:25-27).
The enemy is ready to hurt both of you by driving a wedge into your relationship. To
restore to normal relationship, forgive and overlook the offence. If you want God to bless
you and accept your gift, seek reconciliation without delay.
Some have the urge to be lovely with others but not with their family. They are
tempted to allow for selfish privileges as if it doesn’t count. There are people who are
courteous to outsiders than to their own family. This should not be in Christian homes. We
must learn to do things that bring harmony in our family. If we want the power of
agreement (Mat. 18:19) to work in our lives, we must not allow strife in our homes. Strife
drops the shield of faith, stops prayer results and invites Satan and his cohorts into homes.
Don’t allow the enemy to intrude into your family. Any misunderstanding not properly
handled can lead to disintegration of the family. Always give room for the Holy Spirit to
settle your misunderstanding to avoid a dreadful result.
have breach of peace and fruitfulness. Always nip your misunderstanding in the bud as soon
as it occurs. There shouldn’t be lingering misunderstanding where Christ is reigning.
2. Why is forgiveness a weapon against offences?
3. What are the things Christians must put on to resolve their misunderstanding?
4. Mention four things Christians must do whenever they are offended.
5. Why should Christians not do things that bring disharmony in their family?
Source
DAILY DEVOTIONAL READING
MON. 29/4/2019 BE CLOTHED WITH HUMILITY 1 PET. 5:5-11
To be truly humble is to submit to God. As a Christian, you are the righteousness of God inChrist Jesus. When you know this, then you will abstain from any misunderstandings.
Don’t let Satan keep you groveling in the dust of false humility. Christian family members
should make humility their hallmark. Avail yourself of God’s protection by settling all your
misunderstandings with humility.
Point of Emphasis: Clothe yourself with humility.
Prayer point: Dear Lord, help me to be like Jesus in humility.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 17-19
TUE. 30/4/2019 LET LOVE PREVAIL 1 COR 13:1-13
Christianity is not a religion but a way of life. It is established on love. The way of life of its
adherent is not in religious activities only. It is evident in the inner feeling as well as love
towards others. Due to our peculiarity, sometimes, misunderstanding do occur among us.
We should tend to the way of love. It suffers long. Since God values action done in love
with patience, don’t allow the wrongs done to you to dictate your response, rather let love
prevail. When any wrong is done to you by any member of the family or even an enemy,
react in a way that shows that you have value that centres on love and Christ.
Point of Emphasis: Don’t act in the spirit of hatred, let love prevail in all situations.
Prayer Point: Lord Jesus, give me grace that will always make me to respond to issues with love
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 20-22
WED. 1/5/2019 BEAR WITH EACH OTHER COL. 3:12-15
Members of the family must be ready to adapt to changes and situations in the family. Goneare the days when some family members are not involved in keeping the home running. If
the wife is overburdened with household chores, every member of the house should be
ready to help her out. The practice of leaving all the housework to the wives alone as seen in
some cultures does not find its way in Christianity. Some women have suffered
tremendously under this practice. Christians should know that women or wives are not
slaves but helpmeets Let’s bear with each other, put on charity to do things in common
without partiality to any member of the family.
Point of Emphasis: Forbear one another.
Prayer Point: Lord, give us grace in our family to forbear one another.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 23-25
THUR. 2/5/2019 ACT LIKE ONE WHO KNOWS CHRIST 1 JN. 2:1-11
Whenever you find yourself stumbling into any misunderstanding, check your love life. Askthe Lord to show you if you are in strife with anyone or you have taken offence. Often
times, you discover that people get upset with you without a cause. The devil uses those
kind of offences to steal your peace. You must always remember that taking offence never
comes from God. We should be rooted and grounded in love, reject feelings of offence.
Always ask yourself, “if Christ is in my situation what will He do?” It is very vital for Christians
to act like Christ. If indeed you are a Christian, always act like Christ. Your action is the
acid test that proves whether you are of Christ or not. This will help you walk right on
through the situation without ever stumbling.
Point of Emphasis: Taking offence never comes from God, so reject those feelings of offence.
Prayer Point: Father, help me to overlook offences in Jesus’ name.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 26-28
FRI. 3/5/2019 DON’T ALLOW THE STRIFE TO LINGER MATT. 5:21-26
Throughout the scripture, God warns us against the danger of strife, yet it is still one of themost common problems among believers. We let it get into our homes, work places, our
churches and everywhere. Of course we don’t wake up in the morning and say “I think I am
going to stir up some strife today” We just inadvertently allow irritation to come. You must
take a stand against strife. If you have the tendency to let things irritate you, decide to
overcome that tendency. Arm yourself against them with the knowledge that there are
people that are not going to be nice to you and are ready to stir you up and annoy you on
purpose or by accident. Make up your mind that by the power of God, you are not going to
let strife linger through you.
Point of Emphasis: Take a big stand against any opportunity for strife.
Prayer Point: Empower me to be patient with people dear Lord.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 29-31
SAT. 4/5/2019 GET OVER YOUR FEELINGS: FORGIVE LK. 6:27-37
Have you ever tried to forgive someone and found you simply couldn’t do it? You have
cried and prayed about it yet those old resentments just failed to go away. You need to put
your forgiveness on faith rather than feelings. True forgiveness doesn’t have anything to do
with how you feel. It is an act of the will. It is based on obedience to God and on faith in
Him. Once you have forgiven a person, you need to consider him permanently forgiven.
When old feelings rise up within you and Satan tries to convince you that you haven’t really
forgiven him, resist him. You must believe that you have received forgiveness and cleansing
from the sin of unforgiveness and from unrighteousness associated with it including any
remembrance of having been wronged. As you do that, the pains once caused by that
incident will disappear. The power of God will wash away the effect of it and you will be
able to leave it behind you once and for all. Learn to forgive and forget.
Point of Emphasis: Cleanse your feelings with the blood of Jesus. Forgive those that hurt you wholeheartedly.
Prayer Point: Let the peace of God fill my heart as I forgive wholeheartedly.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 32-34
SUN. 5/5/2019 FORGIVE ALWAYS MATT. 18:21-35
Only few people realise how closely connected faith and forgiveness are. Jesus taught about
that connection in His sermon on the mountain recorded in Mk. 11:24-25. Jesus backed
those two statements up on purpose. He wanted us to know that forgiving those who have
wronged us is fundamental to receiving from God. He wanted to impress on our hearts the
fact that we cannot have our prayers answered and hold grudge at the same time. We must
know that unforgiveness clogs the faith channel and keeps us powerless to climb the
mountain in our lives. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring any grudge that is hidden there to light.
Unclog the channel of faith and you will soon see things work well with you.
Point of Emphasis: Unforgiveness clogs the faith channel and keeps you powerless.
Prayer Point: I receive the grace to always forgive wholeheartedly in the name of Jesus.
Reading the Bible through in a Year: Ezek. 35-37
BACKGROUND
Misunderstanding breeds offences and offences breed wrath. It is true that Christians
should not have enemies but not with wrath. No one plans for offences but when it comes,
what do we do to handle it? The way out is spelt out in this week’s lesson.
NOTES ON THE TEXT
PART 1: OFFENCES WILL COME - LK 6: 27-37; EPH. 4:31-32
As long as you are involved in relationships in this planet, the marriage relationshipnot exempted, offences will come. Offences are part and parcel of living on this earth. No
matter how spiritual you are, whenever you remember the person that offended you, it
dampens you somehow. This is devil’s strategy to shut you down spiritually and cut you off
from the flow of your anointing. Therefore, settle your mis-understanding amicably without
any strings attached because it will definitely come. You may notice that things are not just
blending with you and your fellow brethren or spouse when both of you are moody.
Offences make your spiritual sensitivity blunt and make your faith weak. So learn to forgive.
Forgiveness is the weapon against offences. You might still feel bad even after
forgiving that person or your spouse who offended you. Forgiveness and the feeling of
offence are two different things. Forgiveness is a decision of the will and not a feeling. Many
people are in the habit of saying “I may forgive but I will never forget” That is a second-rate
kind of forgiveness that believers are not supposed to settle for. You are to forgive
wholeheartedly “even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you” (Eph.4:32). You need to do this
to release that person from guilt permanently and unconditionally and to operate as if
nothing has ever happened between you.
When you do this, something supernatural will happen within you. The pain once
caused by the incident will disappear. The power of God will wash away the effects of it and
you will be able to leave it behind. You must not become an emotional bookkeeper of the
wrongs you have suffered. Learn to forgive and forget.
Anywhere offences are allowed to stay, peace is given license to leave. Don’t ever
allow offences in your home. Stick to peace for your family to continue to experience the
peace of God.
PART 2: AVOID MISUNDERSTANDING - COL. 3:12-15
As a child of God, if you must handle misunderstanding, you need to put on tendermercies, kindness, humility, meekness and longsuffering bearing with one another and be
forgiving even as Christ forgave you.
By doing these, we must put on love so as to enable the peace of God rule our hearts. Be
informed that anger and unforgiveness contribute to physical illness because they release
deadly toxins into the body.
When people hurt you, there are four things you must do:
1. Talk to them, do it the right time in the right place and in a right way. Before you say
anything, ask God to guide your thoughts and your words. Then say what God puts
in your heart in a loving non-judgmental way. After that, leave the rest to God.
2. Don’t retaliate. When you are tempted to be angry with someone, stop and
remember the price Jesus paid to take away the sins you committed. Seeing the
offender through Gods eyes will help you to forgive.
3. Let go. As long as one keeps dwelling on an issue, it keeps hurting. You may let
someone off your hook, but that doesn’t mean he is off God’s hook. Always allow
God to do the needful, He knows the best.
4. Ask God to bless them. You have to do this genuinely because Jesus said it in Lk
6:27-28. Remember that when Jesus tells you to do something, He backs you up with
the grace to do it.
PART 3: RESTORE TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP - MATT. 5:21-25
Solomon says: The beginning of strife is like releasing water. Therefore, stopcontention before a quarrel starts.”(Prov. 17:14). Children of God must not quarrel, instead,
they must be kind to everyone. Is there any dispute in your heart robbing you of peace? Here
is what Jesus said you are supposed to do “if you are offering your gift at the altar and you
remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there and go and be
reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.
Don’t expect your brother to come to you. You have to take the initiative in case he
would not come. When you allow things on the other hand, may be you have decided to
sleep on the matter for now, the Bible says “Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down
on your wrath” (Eph. 4:25-27).
The enemy is ready to hurt both of you by driving a wedge into your relationship. To
restore to normal relationship, forgive and overlook the offence. If you want God to bless
you and accept your gift, seek reconciliation without delay.
PART 4: PEACE AT HOME - PHIL. 2:1-9
Some have the urge to be lovely with others but not with their family. They are
tempted to allow for selfish privileges as if it doesn’t count. There are people who are
courteous to outsiders than to their own family. This should not be in Christian homes. We
must learn to do things that bring harmony in our family. If we want the power of
agreement (Mat. 18:19) to work in our lives, we must not allow strife in our homes. Strife
drops the shield of faith, stops prayer results and invites Satan and his cohorts into homes.
Don’t allow the enemy to intrude into your family. Any misunderstanding not properly
handled can lead to disintegration of the family. Always give room for the Holy Spirit to
settle your misunderstanding to avoid a dreadful result.
CONCLUSION
In homes, misunderstanding sometimes occurs. Allowing it to linger causes homes tohave breach of peace and fruitfulness. Always nip your misunderstanding in the bud as soon
as it occurs. There shouldn’t be lingering misunderstanding where Christ is reigning.
QUESTIONS
1. How should Christians settle their misunderstanding?2. Why is forgiveness a weapon against offences?
3. What are the things Christians must put on to resolve their misunderstanding?
4. Mention four things Christians must do whenever they are offended.
5. Why should Christians not do things that bring disharmony in their family?
Source
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